Many men are afraid of a lifetime commitment but what is it about a woman that makes him want to take that major leap into marriage bliss? Most likely the answer is knowing that he has chosen a woman that enhances his life, allows him to be himself and inspires him to be the best man he can be. Sounds pretty simple huh? Well, often times relationships flat-line and become habitual because of co-dependency and the loss of that excitement and spark that keeps the juices flowing. When that happens, the man and the woman tend to re-evaluate a lifetime of stagnancy with a partner where the lust is lost and the chemistry is co-put!
So what is hiding on a man's secret wedding checklist? How do you get him from "I do love you" to "till death do us part"? The truth is that there are certain unique qualities and behaviors that he may be looking for in his lifetime mate. So let's check some traits out that make him want to say "I do" instead of "I cannot deal"!
To Nag or Not to Nag...that is the question!
A man does not feel very manly when he is constantly being told what to do or what he has not done right! Many of us women get irritated and consumed with the fact that we have asked for something to get done or for a behavior to be adjusted and unfortunately our wishes are not being fulfilled. Although it is frustrating it can not be the only topic of conversation. Why would your significant other want to pick up his phone if he knows all he is going to get is an ear full about how he still has not booked the plane tickets for your visit to family for the holidays! In fact, he may be feeling resentful of your bossy attitude and that is why he is not doing it! Partners have to be supportive of one another and pick and choose their battles. Sugar gets you further than vinegar and maybe a cute sticky note on his rearview mirror that says, "Hunny, please don't forget to book the flights. You're the best, Love ya" with a red lipstick kiss, is a better way to go! He will think it is sweet and want to get the job done because of the way you ask. Sometimes it is all in the delivery and a lifetime with a bossy drill sergeant is not going to get him to want to walk down that isle! Sugar and support...key components!
Get a Life!
He should have his friends, you should have your friends and then you should have couples you hang out with. A man can tend to feel smothered or lose that longing for his woman if she is constantly available and dependant on him for her entertainment. You want your man to wonder when you are coming over and miss you a little bit. Independence is an attractive quality and one that makes a man continue to vie for your attention. You should always make him feel like a priority but never lose your identity. Have a hobby or interest that you pursue often whether it is an art class, yoga, book club, gathering with the girls and so on. You want to have mutual activities and interests that you share with your partner but you also need to have a sense of self that is for you to explore and appreciate. He will appreciate it for the long term. A life of needy is not attractive but a life of appreciation for you as your own person is appealing.
Be Spontaneous in the Intimacy Department...
Spice it up and keep it exciting! No man is looking for a lifetime of frumpy t-shirts and oversized sweatpants every night of their life! Surprise him with an intimate massage or a bubble bath for two. Keep exploring new ways to explore each other and he will be happy to keep coming back for more! You never want him to think "this is it"? You always want him to think "I wonder what she will come up with next"!
Continue to Surprise him with your New Experiences and Evolution of Self.
Show him and yourself that you are multi-faceted! Take on your bucket list so you can evolve your life experiences and get excited to share them with him! Your excitement will get him excited and he will think of how amazing you are to take on life with zest and adventure. As you explore your many interests he will be seeing layers of you unfold for him to discover. He will get a thrill out of wondering what you will do next and you will feel progressive, stimulated and inspired. It leads to a mutual exhilaration.
In conclusion, men want stimulation, independence and support. They want the nurturing woman who brings them chicken noodle soup when they are stuck in bed with the flu and the adventurous woman who is constantly searching for the next life experience to explore and share with them. All good things in life flow. Notice how a flowing stream has clear crisp water as it grazes the rocks and continues to move compared to a stagnant murky pond that remains still and lifeless. It is the same with relationships, life and love; they all need the energy of the flow to remain healthy and strong.
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